Pride Award & Mary Wiper Ally Award
As
part of the first annual Grand Cities Pride festival and community
gathering (2008), two awards were presented. These awards are meant to
symbolize the intent and purpose of the festival while also honoring
active members of our various communities as well as the straight
allies who offer support to our communities.
Grand Cities Pride Award. This award will be
presented annually to an individual who has provided exceptional
service and support to communities of sexual and gender diversity
while also promoting advocacy and education to benefit those
communities. The inaugural recipient of this award was lore m.
dickey, whose work promoting understanding of trans people and their
experiences has not only greatly enhanced the Grand Cities community
but also a wide variety of regional and national forums in which lore
has taken part.
Mary Wiper Ally Award. This award shall be
given annually to an individual who has
demonstrated support for communities of sexual and gender diversity as
well as a strong commitment to issues of social justice in general. Priority is given straight-identified allies of the GLBTQ community, though we define an Ally as anyone, regardless of their cultural identity label(s), who uses their places of privilege to advocate for improved climate and access to resources for marginalized individuals and communities.
The inaugural recipient of this award was Kathy Ficke of the
Christus Rex Lutheran Church, located on the UND Campus. Kathy has
long been a friend and supporter of GLBT people, working to ensure that
there are religious communities in which queer people can feel safe and
supported.
This award is named after Mary Wiper, an alumna of the University of
North Dakota who passed away while on a hiking trip on August 1, 2004.
Mary was a strong advocate for social justice, and was known as
a compassionate ally to gay and lesbian people; she also dedicated her
time to women's issues and was perhaps best known for her committment
to environmental issues. Mary was a living example that great changes
can be made through social justice work at the grassroots level, and it
is in this spirit that we offer this award. For more information about
Mary Wiper and her life and work, please visit: http://www.MaryWiper.com
Grand Cities Pride 2010: Participating in the Vision
By Joshua A. Boschee (Pride Award Recipient)
To begin, thank you to those of you that nominated and selected
me to receive this recognition. I
am truly humbled and honored to be recognized for the work that I have done
over the past four and a half years in regards to serving the LGBT community
within North Dakota. I am excited
for the opportunity to celebrate our community pride with all of you in Grand
Forks.
As I reflect back on when I began my work as an activist
within and on behalf of the LGBT community, it is difficult for me to identify
the singular moment that got me started as an activist. Even being describes as an activist
took some getting used to. It
wasn’t until I realized that many people in our quiet, conservative corner of
the world were afraid of being “attacked” by an activist and their related
issues that I realized the title of an activist has power. This title also has a responsibility
that goes along with it.
I first and foremost consider myself an educator and a
lifelong learner. As an organized
movement, the LGBT rights movement has only been around for a little over 40
years. We need to take a moment to
review not only our history, but the history of other civil rights movements to
learn what works and what doesn’t in advancing our issues and rights. Our fight is and should be a
collaborative fight that looks at the current systems of power to identify ways
to dismantle that power and make it more equitable for all people. Our human history is filled with
examples of the divide and conquer method working to continue the cycle of
oppression, slavery and destruction of societies. We also know that throughout history, when groups of people
collaborate and develop a shared vision for change, change occurs.
As queer people, we need to be actively engaged within the
larger communities that we live, work, learn and play in. Our visibility is paramount to our
success of being able to create policies, laws and practices that are inclusive
and supportive of LGBT people and our families. I’m not saying that everyone needs to come flying out of the
closet, that’s just not realistic for many people in areas throughout rural
North Dakota and Minnesota. I
would encourage individuals to continue developing their support networks and
take one more step out of the closet.
If you aren’t out to anyone, tell a trusted friend or family
member. If you are out to friends,
tell a family member. If you are
out to those that are close to you, get involved with a local community
organization and talk about who you are, when it is appropriate. If you are publicly out, speak up for
others by examining employment policies and benefits, local and state laws and
propose changes. If you are active
in policy issues, get involved with recruiting and electing politicians that
are out or allies that are vocal and supportive to our issues. Advocate for yourself and others by
corresponding with our elected officials as an openly LGBT person or ally,
whether that is one on one, through an e-mail or at a community forum. Each time one of us becomes more open
about who we are to ourselves and the world around us, we become stronger not
just individually, but also as a community.
I find strength in the anonymous e-mails I receive from people
that either live in Fargo or greater North Dakota thanking me for being visible
by writing a letter to their local newspaper, because they are afraid of losing
their job or rejected by family. I
find strength in the random straight guys that come up to me at the bar and
encourage me to keep up the great work.
I find strength in watching young, queer people courageously start a
Gay-Straight Alliance at their school and challenge the status quo. I find strength in watching a parent
share their love by advocating for their LGBT son or daughter in front of 500
people at the state capitol. I
find strength in listening to a religious leader share all the reasons why the
Bible, Torah or Koran demands love and respect for all people and families. I find strength in learning that two
local retired women fell in love with each other and celebrated their
relationship through a commitment ceremony.
I continue to fight for equality, because I believe in a
world where one day we can all live in peace and respect each other’s unique
differences. And
I challenge you to fight for equality, so we can share in the work and the
celebration when we achieve that reality.
By Heather Jackson (Mary Wiper Ally Award Recipient)
As a woman who got pregnant her senior year of high school,
went through a lonely and shameful pregnancy, survived a 5.5 year abusive
relationship, made the CHOICE to become a single mother when leaving her
child’s father, and came out bisexual/queer in her mid-20’s (after a few years
of not knowing how to do it) – how could I not care about other people? How could I not express support to
people who need it?
I
got involved in some sort of activism when I was about 14: I decided to go
vegetarian. This was a consequence
of having an amazing third grade teacher who taught my class about issues
concerning the environment, her ideas stuck with me. I could not understand how I could eat animals, anymore. The animals humans eat are defenseless
and I felt at a loss, I wanted them to have a second chance. I wanted to grant them the dignity to
at least, live. This transition
was a turning point for me and it never stopped. My politics and critical analysis of the world continued to
grow.
I
started going to punk rock shows in Minot in high school. I met a lot of LGBTQ folks and I
totally felt I fit in with them some how or another. I felt I found a group of people who I could tell all kinds
of things to and not feel like such a freak. When I gave birth to my child in 2001 – my queer friends
were the ones who hung out with me post-birth, supported me, and helped out
with my child. While I still felt
out of place as a 19-year-old new mom with a kid, I felt I fit in with my queer
friends and we deserved each other’s friendship, love, and support.
All
of my personal experiences have sparked an activist in me. When I moved to Minneapolis in 2003, I
started doing work with pro-choice, feminist, and LGBTQ organizations. I also become friends with a group of
mostly queer and bisexual single mothers who had been in the same situation I
had been. Baby-daddies who do not
support them at all, were abusive, made light of their sexualities, and so on. They were so supportive of my
transition from a chaotic, unhealthy situation to being a newly out
bisexual/queer feminist single mother.
I felt so free and I felt I had a group of wonderful amazing queer women
who supported me.
Moving
back to North Dakota in 2007 was a hard decision. However, once I started UND, I met other amazing people who
had the same politics as me. This
sparked me to start doing things.
Grand Forks is a small city and in ways, it’s easier to just start doing
things. People start to notice
because everything is centered on bars and consumerism in this town. While not many people participate in
the things I started doing: it’s still there, it’s being done, and it is so
worth it.
One
of the biggest things I want others to be aware of is that LGBTQ people,
feminists, and pro-choice people have children! This is why at events I coordinate: I make that
explicit. When organizing events,
I am aware of the time (no late nights because of children that may come) and
provide snacks, toys, and activities for children. I also organize the events to be alcohol and drug-free. This offers a safe space for children
and sober people. In order to
build strong and support communities: everyone needs to be included and
involved. If not, it becomes
exclusive and non-supportive.
While
I do pro-choice activism, I try to “queer” those events. When talking about reproductive choices
– the people I am involved with talk about issues that affect the LGBTQ
community as well, such as safe sex.
We hand out male condoms AND dental dams, which can be used by anyone of
any sexuality. These types of
things do not assume that everyone is heterosexual and it provides inclusion
for the LGBTQ community.
When
starting the Icarus Project (mental health support group), critical mass
bicycle rides, and fix bikes night a couple of years ago with some friends, we
made it explicit that children and the LGBTQ community are welcome. Understanding that everyone needs a
space to feel safe and express their feelings, issues, and so on is extremely
important. Sometimes even just
saying it (i.e.: children and LGBTQ-supportive) on fliers lends a supportive
hand.
While
I am a part of the LGBTQ community as a bisexual/queer woman, I am also an
ally. Since I am not transgender,
I want it to be known that I am supportive of transgender people. In my experience, knowing that someone
supports me for who I am is enough.
Even
though, I am not involved with UND’s Ten Percent Society, my support and
activism for/with the LGBTQ community falls into other venues of the activism I
do. Even when writing for the Dakota Student at UND, I write about
these issues. They need to be
spoken about and this can lend support to someone that may have not found that
support at UND, Grand Forks, and surrounding communities.
Being
a queer, feminist, and single mother is a huge part of my identity and
existence. I have raised my
daughter vegetarian and she also understands that relationships are not just
heterosexual. She also understands
that not all women have vaginas and not all men have penises. Being able to raise a child who is aware
of sexualities and gender identities beyond the binary is part of
deconstructing the heterosexist and patriarchal world. Being able to teach her about racism,
sexism, gender roles, transphobia, classism, and heterosexism is also a huge
part of my parenting. She can take
this and pass it on to her friends to continue a queer feminist perspective as
she grows.
Lastly,
Kathy Coudle-King who taught the Intro to Women studies class I took the fall
of 2007 spoke about Mary Wiper and her activism. When I found out I won this award, I was so surprised! Mary Wiper is a name on campus and from
what I have heard and read: she did amazing things. I am honored to have won this. While I do things out of love and support, to be recognized
grants me support to want to continue my activism in regard to marginalized
groups.
Grand Cities Pride 2009: Stronger Together
Stronger Together by Geoffrey Schaubhut
For me service to an organization, group or community is the representation of utmost respect for the people represented by a chosen title. It proclaims to that group that you are willing to take the time necessary to identify the area where improvement is needed and take steps to rectify those problems to the best of your abilities. Sometimes these efforts are small, introducing yourself to someone new, and at other times these efforts take a great deal of time and/or work, planting a forest full of trees in only three hours. However, in both of these cases change is made that directly affects the condition of the targeted community.
Over this past year my major emphasis has been the creation of safe bathroom space within the single stalled University of North Dakota (UND) bathrooms. To me this work represents the identification and solution of a major problem for sections of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender (GLBT) community that are commonly forgotten; the ability for individuals that do not typify a gender (butch females, effeminate males and Trans people) to go to the restroom in peace. In a way this project serves a dual purpose by helping to solve a major problem on campus as well as creating an opportunity for new issues to be brought up and managed.
These efforts could lead to the creation of a transgender movement which is important in Grand Forks and specifically at UND because it represents an equally important part of the GLBT community that is typically neglected within all levels of society. It is through these slowly building initiatives that people are brought together to fight for even larger causes; ones that would have otherwise been impossible to establish. As the logo of this year’s Grand Cities Pride proclaims, we are far much Stronger Together.
One Ally’s Journey by Jaryn Allen
I never had the opportunity to meet Mary Wiper, which is unfortunate, as it sounds like she was truly an extraordinary young woman. I feel extremely honored to be named the second recipient of the ally award in her namesake, the Mary Wiper Ally Award. While feeling deeply humbled and honored to be chosen to receive this award, I am also somewhat saddened by the need for my involvement with the GLBTQ community to be recognized as something worthy of an award. I eagerly await the day when being an ally to this community or any marginalized community is seen as the norm, rather than as the exception. Or better yet will be the day when such marginalization does not exist.
I believe that people deserve to be treated with basic kindness, dignity, and respect. My identity as an ally stems from this belief. The word ‘ally’ is synonymous with such words as ‘helper,’ ‘supporter,’ ‘collaborator,’ ‘partner,’ and ‘friend.’ Being an ally to me means being a person who provides help and support to, works in collaboration and partnership with, and is a friend to the GLBTQ community. My journey as an ally is still largely in its infancy and I look forward to the many opportunities that await me, both professionally and personally, to expand upon my work as an ally and positively influence others to do the same because together we are stronger!
I first identified as an ally when I began learning more about Safe Zone programs as an undergraduate. Safe Zone is a program that identifies “safe people” who will be understanding, supportive, and trustworthy for members of the GLBT community (and their allies) to talk to, seek help or advice from, or receive accurate information about sexual orientation issues from. I became trained as a Safe Zone member at my graduate institution and after about one year in the program, I became a trainer for Safe Zone, which allowed me to train other students, staff, and faculty members to become Safe Zone members. This was very rewarding, as it allowed me to share my passion for advocacy for the GLBTQA community with other interested individuals and to expand the network of allies. Upon coming to UND, I inquired about the existence of a Safe Zone program and learned that one had been started a few years ago but that it was not presently very active. I spoke with my advisor in the Student Health Promotion Office about regenerating the Safe Zone program at UND and she put me in contact with Chris Stoner and Cheryl Terrance, who had worked to first establish Safe Zone. Chris and Cheryl, both very active in UND’s Ten Percent Society, were eager to re-establish Safe Zone and I was fortunate enough to work with them to help the UND Safe Zone program become active again and participate in training sessions that introduced UND students, staff, and faculty to Safe Zone and increased the number of Safe Zones and Allies on the UND campus.
My identity as an ally also influences the work I do in the UND Student Health Promotion Office, as the sexual health and wellness educator. In this role, I often give presentations to university students about the importance of protecting their sexual health (e.g., considering abstinence as an option, and practicing safer sex if they choose to be sexually active by limiting their number of sexual partners and always using condoms), but I also have the opportunity to educate them about sexual orientation issues, issues particularly relevant to the GLBTQ community, the unique hardships their follow students who identify as GLBTQ experience (prejudice and discrimination), and to provide a forum for them to ask questions, receive accurate information and resources, and disclose and discuss any concerns they may have about themselves or their friends. I really enjoy this work and the opportunities it gives me to educate others and promote advocacy for populations that still face prejudice and discrimination. This work has also allowed me to demystify many of the myths that surround sexuality and sexual orientation and work to counter-act misinformation and stereotypes that perpetuate prejudice and discrimination within the GLBT community. This work has been especially satisfying, as it has the potential to impact the direct treatment of members of the GLBT community. As people start to realize many of the beliefs they’ve held are based on misinformation or fear of something they do not fully understand or feel they can relate to, they become more open-minded and willing to take the perspective of the other, and can become more understanding of the unique challenges faced by individuals within a marginalized community. This is when the door opens to create new alliances and strengthen the ally network.
As a psychologist-in-training, having an understanding of diversity, including sexual diversity, is imperative to the work I do and the people I serve. I incorporate my ally mindset in my work with people seeking mental health services. I try to promote an attitude of understanding and support for individual and group differences, including those related to gender and sexual identity. I work hard to form alliances with the individuals who seek my help and I believe my work as an ally to the GLBT community has further strengthened my ability to understand and appreciate differences and work to assist those who are marginalized to find resources to reduce the effects of their marginalization. I will delight in the day when such marginalization is no longer present.
In my personal life, I try to model inclusive language, by calling my husband my partner or significant other, to acknowledge that not everyone in a significant partnership has the privilege of referring to their partner as a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. My use of the term partner (rather than husband) is one small way I can acknowledge this inequality still exists. I also try to use my status as a married individual to educate others about heterosexual privilege, or the privileges that I enjoy and can take for granted because I identify as heterosexual, such as the basic right to marry, the right for my partner to visit me in the hospital, the right for us to purchase property together, and the right for us to adopt children together, should we choose to, and encourage them to advocate for individuals within the GLBT community to also have access to these basic human rights. I hold onto the hope that one day such privileges will be extended to all people, regardless of their gender or sexual identity. And I believe that together we are stronger, so please ask yourself what are you doing to strengthen alliances with the people around you? How can you be an ally to another? How can you help us be stronger together?
Thank you for this award and for allowing me to celebrate with you again this year at the second annual Grand Cities Pride Festival!
Grand Cities Pride 2008
What have you done today to make you feel PROUD?
A Gay Pride Blog by lore m. dickey
Gay ..ˈgā.. - homosexual
Pride ..ˈprīd.. - quality or state of being proud; a reasonable or justifiable respect
Gay
pride is a state of mind. One that it so deeply ingrained in my sense
of self that I often forget how important it is to my sense of
identity. I have several coming out stories; most of which have a
decidedly queer theme. When I decided to move to North Dakota I thought
long and hard about the decision. Would I be able to be out as a queer
identified person? Were there any sort of legal protections in place
should I be discriminated against? Will there be any sort of a
community?
I first came out in 1983. I quickly learned the
difference between one's family of origin and a family of choice. My
family of choice accepted me for who I was and did not ask me to change
so that they might feel more comfortable with my identity. I was
accepted for who I was; nothing more and nothing less. Eventually I
moved back to Seattle which has a strong LGBT community. I became
involved in various community organizations that served the LGBT
community. you see, I had learned much earlier in life the importance
of being involved; of stepping forward to make a difference. One such
group was Seattle Men's Chorus (SMC). I remember quite vividly a
performance we had in Wenatchee, WA. Wenatchee is located in north
central WA; east of the Cascade Mountains. It is primarily a farming
community that is quite conservative. This would be the first
performance for SMC in this sleepy city. A singing group from the local
community college was to share the stage with us. It didn't take long
before some people in that group and in the community at large began an
attempted boycott of our performance - because we were gay. In the end,
after CNN reports, we sang to a sold out, standing room only crowd.
What I remember most from that concert was the rousing ovation that the
students from the community college received when they set foot on the
stage. No one was prepared for the thunderous ovation they received.
Being
out as a gay transman in North Dakota has the same risks as being out
in a city like Wenatchee, WA. I knew that coming here to Grand Forks
would be a huge cultural difference for me. Yet, I have managed to find
a great community of gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgender
people in the Red River Valley. It surely isn't the same as the
community I have back home, but it is still family.
Gay pride is
about belonging. It means that I can find fellow LGBT individuals who
will understand when I need support after having been treated badly by
someone for the sole fact that I am an out gay transman. It also means
to me, that I need to be visible. After moving here, I felt pretty
invisible, so on my first trip back to Seattle I went a store where I
could buy rainbow stickers and pink triangles. On returning to Grand
Forks, I proudly displayed those on my car. It didn't mean much to have
a pink triangle on your car in Seattle. Many people have some sort of
gay bumper sticker. It gets noticed here in Grand Forks, maybe not by
everyone, but certainly by those who understand what it means.
I
am looking forward to the first Grand Cities Pride Day. It will be an
historical moment. I will proudly stand with my brothers and sisters as
we declare our right to be a part of this community. Join me. It is
sure to be great fun!
An Ally’s Perspective by Kathy Ficke
Imagine
my surprise when Chris Stoner told me I was to be the first recipient
of the Mary Wiper Ally Award at this first annual PRIDE Festival here
in GF. I could only think of so many others who were deserving of the recognition and felt humbled and deeply honored to be selected.
My
concerns around this recognition rest in the continuing injustice and
practices of discrimination which make this award necessary. I accept it with the accompanying challenges and share with you a bit of my perspective on life.
An old practice of welcome is called "Biblical Hospitality" in contemporary circles. The practice is one of an unconditional welcome of the stranger as if they were family. This practice of hospitality is one to which I am personally and professionally committed. The
foundation for this practice is rooted in my belief in the inherent
worth of each dimension of creation and every human being. My call is to extend to others the gracious welcome I have received from the hand of the creator.
I believe that at the core of every person are their sexuality and their spirituality which are inseparably intertwined. Exploring one without impacting the other is not possible from my perspective. And
so, my journey has been one of great joy as I explore and learn more
about these dimensions of the self and their connection to each other. The resulting insights have left me with a passion for justice, particularly around issues of sexuality. My life's choices have reflected this passion.
What have you done today to make you feel proud? The question brings opportunity for reflection and affirmation. May our answers bring joy and encouragement for the next day's call to seek justice.
Thanks for the public recognition of this journey. We
have only begun and I long for the day when selecting a recipient for
the ally award will be impossible because our world will be filled with
potential candidates! I am sorry I can't be with you for PRIDE as I have a previous commitment in Sioux Falls. Blessings as you name and celebrate all that we do together to make us feel proud!
